Lists & Quotes
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| Yes | = | No |
| No | = | Yes |
| Maybe | = | No |
| I'm sorry | = | You'll be sorry |
| We need | = | I want |
| It's your decision | = | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
| Do what you want | = | You'll pay for this later |
| We need to talk | = | I need to complain |
| Sure go ahead | = | I don't want you to |
| I'm not upset | = | Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
| You're so manly | = | You need a shave and you sweat a lot |
| You're certainly attentive tonight | = | Is sex all you ever think about? |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights | = | I have flabby thighs |
| This kitchen is so inconvenient | = | I want a new house |
| I want new curtains | = | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... |
| Hang the picture there | = | Hang here until I figure out where I realy want it! |
| I heard a noise | = | I noticed you were almost asleep |
| Do you love me? | = | I'm going to ask for something expensive |
| How much do you love me? | = | I did something today you're really not going to like |
| I'll be ready in a minute | = | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV |
| Is my butt fat? | = | Tell me I'm beautiful |
| You have to learn to communicate | = | Just agree with me |
| Are you listening to me!? | = | [Too late, you're dead.] |
| Was that the baby? | = | Why don't you get out of bed and rock him until he falls asleep |
| I'm not yelling! | = | Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important |
| The same old thing | = | Nothing |
| Nothing | = | Everything |
| Everything | = | My PMS is acting up |
| Nothing, really | = | It's just that you're such an asshole |
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