Chinese Torture

Chinese Torture
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a beard.

"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but there is one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the worst Chinese tortures known to man. "

"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Over dinner the daughter came down stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted.

He woke to feel a great pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he found a large rock on his chest, with a message painted on the side, "Chinese Torture Part 1:Large rock on chest. "

"Well, that's pretty mild," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about. "With a little struggling he managed to wriggle out from under the boulder, picked it up and heaved it out the third floor window next to the bed.

As he did, he noticed more words painted on the other side of it that read, "Chinese Torture Part 2: Rock tied to left testicle. "

Panic set in as he saw the rope at his feet streaming out the window after the boulder. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture Part 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.

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