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If Women Ruled
- All toilet seats would be nailed down.
- A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
- Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth control methods for men.
- Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
- Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered "Macho".
- The hem of men's pants would go up or down depending on the economy.
- Men would be forced to purchase overpriced clothes every season.
- Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey.
- Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
- Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.
- PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
- Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they have had their shots.
- Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
- Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
- Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them.
- Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
- Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before.
- Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
- Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".
- Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
- Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
- Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
- Men would learn phrases like "I'm sorry," "I love you," "You're beautiful," "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit," "Go to sleep--I'll take care of the baby," etc.
- Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
- Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
- Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
- Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
- All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
- Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly .
- After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.
- For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
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