6:00 | Alarm |
6:15 | Blowjob |
6:30 | Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today |
7:00 | Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee |
7:30 | Limo arrives |
7:45 | Stoli Bloody Mary en route to airport |
8:15 | DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ) |
9:30 | Limo to Augusta National Golf Club |
9:45 | Front nine at Augusta (2 under) |
11:45 | Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens |
12:15 | Blowjob |
12:30 | Back nine Augusta (4 under) |
1:15 | Limo back to airport (Bombay martini) |
2:30 | Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap) |
3:15 | Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew |
4:30 | Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs) |
5:00 | G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland |
6:45 | Shit, shower and shave |
7:00 | Watch CNN newsflash: Hillary and Al Gore farm animal sex video released and authenticated. |
7:30 | Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak |
9:00 | Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar |
9:30 | Three women make love to him AND each other |
11:00 | Full body massage and Jacuzzi |
11:45 | Bed (alone) |
11:50 | 12-second, 4-note fart (dog leaves the room) |
11:55 | Deep, snoring sleep |