No Arms - No Legs Jokes

No Arms - No Legs Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs...

What do you call a man with no arms or legs with a history of wheelchair collisions?
Rex
In a pile of leaves?
Russell
And what do you call the same guy, 6 months later
PETE!!!!!
In the lake
Bob
In a ditch
Phil
Outside the door
Matt
On the wall
Art
What do you call his arms and legs?
Pieces of Art!
What if he also doesn't have a tongue!?
Tasteless Art!
What do you call two guys with no arms/legs in the water
Swimming trunks
No arms, no legs, between two buildings:
Aly
No arms, no legs, no head, no torso:
Dick.
No arms, no legs but able to swim the English Channel:
Clever Dick
A woman with no arms, legs, or torso?
Muffie
No feet:
Neil
Left out in the sun?
Wilt
Covered with cement?
Rock
In your pool?
Bob
In your hot tub?
Stu
On your BBQ grill?
Frank
When you throw him across a pond ?
Skip
On hot asphalt?
Flip
No arms, no legs, and no PELVIS??
Chester
Going over a fence?
Homer
Guy with no arms or legs who's upside down in the end zone?
Spike
In your girlfriend's lingerie drawer?
Teddy.
A guy with one arm and no legs who holds up your car?
Jack
Two guys with no arms and no legs nailed to your spice rack?
Herb and Basil
Hanging from a chain destroying buildings?
Rex
A man with no arms and no legs out in the middle of the ocean?
Screwed!!
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs stuck in a wall?
Brad
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a poker table?
Chip
Waterskiing
Skip
Holding drill bit in teeth
Chuck
Thrown against the wall
Mark
In a bottle
Corky.
Hit by lightning
Rod
What do you call two guys with no arms or legs?
Curt and Rod
What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
Nice tits!
What do you call a woman who has one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen
A Japanese woman with the same affliction?
Irene
What do you call her after the operation?
Noleen
Woman with no arms or legs who's been force fed beans?
Gail
Woman with no arms or legs who's hanging from your chandelier?
Crystal
A girl with no arms and no legs lying on a grill?
Patty
In your dishwasher
Dawn
In a fry pan
Pam.
In your garden
Violet
In a hole
Peg
A couple that own a butcher shop?
Chuck and Patty

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