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Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire." Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft." Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." Signed off: "IT DO NOW." Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit." Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Solution: "Evidence removed." Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." Solution: "Volume set to more believable level." Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs have been ordered." Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent." Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem in hanger." Problem: "IFF inoperative." Solution: "IFF is inoperative in OFF mode." Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for." Problem: "Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search." |