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Children & Kids

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Facts About Children
  • A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
  • A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
  • A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.
  • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  • Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
  • Having children will turn you into your parents.
  • If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
  • Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
  • One child is often not enough, while two children can be far too many.
  • Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
  • The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
  • There are three ways to get things done:
    1. do it yourself
    2. hire someone to do it
    3. forbid your kids to do it
  • There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
  • Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

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