5 Stages of Drunkenness

5 Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 - SMART - This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING - This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH - This is when you suddenly become wealthy. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked outside. And of course you can make bets at this stage, because you are still SMART. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the bar.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF - You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have placed bets or with whom you have been trying to convince are wrong for the last hour. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them with no fear of losing because you are SMART, RICH, BETTER LOOKING and now BULLET PROOF!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE - This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything you want because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table on a whim, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are invisible to the person who wants to fight you, so you just ignor them, even if they grab you shoulder in an attempt to confront you face-to-face. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see you. And because you're still SMART, you're certain that you remember all the words, in spite of all the critics.

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