Deep Thoughts...

Deep Thoughts...
by Dennis Miller
Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him.... Is he still wrong?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

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