Believe it or Not

Believe it or Not
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: Did you put the sheet in face-up or face-down?"
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read, so I folded it."

I recently saw a distraught young lady beside her car. "Do need some help?", I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door opener -- now I can't get into my car. Do you think they [pointing to a distant convenience store] would have a battery for this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing her keyring to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied. "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries - it's a long walk."

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?

Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use some photocopy paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard. Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to remove the lamp without moving the refrigerator. Since the lamp was unusable anyway, he decided to just cut the cord. He was found in the hallway rolling back and forth.

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The vehicle looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went back to make a sandwich.

I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your television screen." The person I was with asked, "How do they know what size screen you have?"

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