JOKE FEST
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The Accident

Benefit Loss Adjustment Bureau
P O Box 20445
Scranton, PA 07248
Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.  In Block #3 of the accident reporting form I put "Trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following details will be sufficient.  

I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the date of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new 6-story building.  When I completed my work I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over.  Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.  Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out over the street, and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went back down to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the bricks.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.  In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel coming down.  This explains the fractured skull and broken collar-bone.  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the first three fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the intense pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, causing the bottom of the barrel to pop out.  Devoid of the bricks, the barrel now weighed a mere 50 pounds.  (I refer again to Block #11) As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building, where, in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming back up again.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my knees and lower body.  The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough think that I could break my fall with my hands to lessen the impact with the pile of bricks...  which broke one wrist, three ribs and cracked my pelvis.

As I lay there on the bricks, in excruciating pain, unable to move, I realized that I had a unique perspective of the empty barrel, six stories above me, accelerating toward the ground, breaking both of my outstretched legs.

I hope I have furnished the information you required on how the accident occurred.  

Very truly yours,


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